Marriage, Our Story
Faith check: are you speaking with your flesh and blood or with your faith (your spiritual side)? Ironically when you ask God to change things be prepared that it may be you! The good news is that satan won’t waste time around you when you are prepared to wait until the day Jesus comes if necessary. With faith like that why would satan want to spend so much time on your situation?
This is your perfect opportunity to get to know Jesus better than you ever have before, so use this time for you and Him. Read His Word every opportunity you get, His love letter to you. Feed your spirit-man, not your doubting Thomas. Don’t waste your time in doubt and negative influences. Surround yourself in positive things. You know the Bible tells us that the Word is the truth and the truth will set us free! Satan’s word is null and void, it produces nothing good.
God witnessed your marriage and He said it was good. Mark 4:24 says, “Take heed what you hear!” You have heard that saying “garbage in garbage out.” How can you continue to stand in faith if you are not speaking faith and hearing faith into your situation? Pray more than you ever have before, die to self and realize that Jesus gave Him SELF for us and we didn’t even love Him. He is our example as to how to love our partner, love whether he or she loves us right now or not. Jesus says, “Love them as I have loved you!”
You must show Jesus that you believe He will do what only He can do! This is what He is seeking from you, faith that says you truly believe He will do it. These men had to have felt it was well worth the time and the actions they took.
- I wore my wedding rings.
- Where I spaced my clothes out where his were missing I then moved mine back over and left room for his to come back. I also did that with the drawers.
- I put my Bible on his pillow at night.
- I spoke positive of him, my husband.
- I took all my negative thoughts and feelings to God and one trusted believer who committed to stand with me. I did not speak those to my husband.
His actions can be sweet as pie and seem so good and intentionally meant for you. Beware! God is not happy with actions and thoughts such as this. God does not break His Covenants. Even our world expects contracts to be carried out so how much more should we honor a contract with God than the world? Yes, even if we cannot see Him!
The Old Testament people were not born-again, did not have the Holy Spirit in their hearts nor the love of Jesus in them that is available to all New Covenant people like you and me. Hardness of heart was not created in man by God; it came when man committed high-treason to God and took on the satanic sin-nature. We are free from sin and it’s dominion over us if we are born-again.
The Old Testament people weren’t and God knew it and therefore He was more tolerant of them then. You see, this is the difference today and how we deal with our marriages, we have Jesus. Back then Jesus had not come yet into this world and made new life possible. Jesus said, from the beginning it was not so, i.e. before man gave dominion of the earth to satan. In other words, God didn’t provide a divorce clause for Adam and Eve; it came with the Law as a provision until Jesus came! He has come and He has risen, this is our good news!
There are two sources of spiritual motivation-The Holy Spirit and satan and his hired hands or demons. Life is a moment-by-moment decision for or against Christ. If you hear a thought in your head that you can’t picture Jesus saying to you, then you know where it came from; pitch it, don’t act on it. Thoughts motivating you to criticize, nag or condemn your partner are not from Jesus. You are not under condemnation either. Romans 8:1. Our God is a god of love and He would not speak destruction to His children.
And just so you know Satan loves to overuse this tactic as much as possible! You however can now recognize this and can avoid participating in it. You now should be able to recognize that satan is using your partner. And he can use you too and sometimes satan uses this with other people, even those who really truly love you, are used to get you to give up on your marriage.
He fights dirty, real dirty! Sometimes he uses something obvious like alcohol or drugs; then again if he can just keep them for ever totally agreeing and working together on anything, they are divided. Note later on how many One-Flesh scriptures tell us to be of one mind; you can see why. Sometimes he’ll assign frigidity or touch-me-not demons to one or both partners forcing them into extra-marital affairs. Affairs are in satan’s sin domain and he won’t sic his demons on them; that’s why a affair can seem s-o-o-o perfect. Just let a person divorce his wife, marry the partner of the affair and satan will immediately attack that relationship too. If that were not true, changing partners would be the answer; instead we know of people on their third and fourth divorce!
Say with authority, “You spirit of strife, I command you in the Name of Jesus to leave.” And you know what, it must leave! Resist the devil and he WILL flee from you according to James 4:7. In Proverbs 20:3 “It is an honor for a man to cease from strife, but every fool will be meddling.” You have the responsibility to stop strife. It takes two to be in strife so if you do not allow yourself to be in it, then it can’t live.
I had to literally trust what God was telling and teaching me, and not those ugly hateful hurtful words of my husband. I didn’t give him someone to fight up against. I had put satan in his place. I was winning. I was silencing Satan’s hackling laughter which I could hear and didn’t want him to enjoy that laughter any longer. I no longer was allowing satan to poke jabs at me and get me stirred up with anger.
Sure there were times I hurt and I cried but I took all these things to my Father and He consoled me. He also put a trusted friend in my life that had agreed to stand with me in this, praying with me, being the believer I needed to help me fight the good fight for my marriage and for our family.
Pray for the understanding and God will tell you things to pray for in English, verse 15. You never pray in doubt and disbelief when you pray in the spirit; the spirit always prays the Will of God. Isn’t that awesome? What more can we ask for’ God has made provision for everything! What an awesome God we live for! Romans 8:26-37 “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: For we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the Will of God.”
If you are away from home, you have the perfect opportunity to get to know God intimately for He desires to fellowship with His children. Some evangelists and others we know have to take a trip to have peace and quiet and hear God speaking to them. I like to listen to quiet music, nothing that is distracting and just sit and picture Jesus and I sitting and talking. I ask Him questions and I wait for His answers and most of the time I just listen for what He wants to say to me. I also journal everything! Even my dreams, things I hear in sermons and thoughts and my prayers.
When Jesus truly has first place in your life, when you really learn how to depend on Him, not your mate, for your happiness...your partner will be home in no time at all. Your problem came as a result of Jesus not being your source, your all-in-all, in the beginning.
When you make the Lord Number One, you are free; your mate no longer has the power to upset you! When you and Jesus have a good thing going, everything else goes good too. Jesus won’t fall off His throne if you don’t praise Him and get to know Him this well, but he knows your relationship with Him makes you an overcomer in this life. He loves us and wants us to have victory in all areas of our lives. He wanted it so much He was willing to suffer and die to get it for us.
Just go immediately to the throne of grace, ask for and receive your forgiveness and remain in fellowship with God. You may be asking “How can I ever ask God to forgive me again, He must be really disgusted with me and tired of forgiving me” are all straight from the pit of hell and satan himself. He wants nothing more than to make you think that God is mad at you, that He couldn’t possibly love you.
If you say, “Well, I’ve done that all my life in church with everyone else every Sunday, what’s the big deal, nothing happened then.” This time you, just you, are going to step out of the meaningless ritual and make a heart commitment, and Jesus, Who goes by the intents of the heart, will fill you with His love and his Holy Spirit and strength to stand on faith until your marriage is healed. So right now, wherever you are, open your mouth and say:
Most would say, “Sure, I will,” before they even found out what you wanted them to agree on. When someone agrees with you, they must believe it in their heart as much as you do and be willing to confess that “It’s done!” in spite of what things look and sound like after you pray.
All power in the earth and heaven is in the Name of Jesus, Matthew 28:18 says so. Satan, you are overcome by the blood of the Lamb of Jesus, and by the word of my testimony. I will accept no doubts or fears from you, satan, and I rebuke you and you in the Name of Jesus and command you out of my thoughts. I am a child of God and you are an illegal trespasser. I resist you in the Name of Jesus and the Word of God says in James 4:7 that you will flee from me. So be gone!
When you both are together working in this marriage you need to practice talking things over, praying about it and correcting it in love, binding satan over the whole situation and thus he has lost his dirty work in your life.
Maybe not right away, but one day you will begin to see and hear those prayers manifested in your mate and you can smile and know where those things originated, they did so in you and your prayers.
Do not be double minded. For example if either party drug their feet and not supported the decision is placing their one flesh in the same position as the double-minded man who receives nothing from the Lord according to James 1:-6-8. This is much more serious than making a occasional wrong decision. You want to learn and practice not being double minded.
Verse 31 and 33 “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife as himself; and the wife see that she reverences her husband.” Wives, build your husbands up, be behind him in all he does, let him know he’s your prince, your hero, your knight in shinning armor and you’ll be treated as his princess.
Don’t get upset if your wife doesn’t see eye to eye with you instantly and say “Well, I’m head of the this and we’ll do it my way!” That really doesn’t solve anything and builds resentment. Even if the husband is right, the wife likes to feel she, as a person, has opinions that her husband counts worthy of consideration. She likes to know she is valuable to you that you really won’t go ahead on something you would like to do if she is truly against it. She too has a relationship with God. He talks to her as well. Just knowing how much my husband values my point of view it takes the pressure off, the feeling of being forced into something. Caring about the other person more than yourself really has tremendous rewards like no hassling, peace of mind; the things that the world pays a fortune to obtain and never can until they get Jesus.
The two of us pray daily and we come together to pray. But one special thing we like to do we call “Soaking in the Spirit.” It is a time we play soft worship music, some without much distraction and we picture ourselves in a place sitting with God and just being with Him. We may have questions we would like to ask of Him and as we are led we ask those and we wait upon His response.
Sometimes we just sit and listen for Him to speak. This is especially important during major decision times in our lives. Satan is lurking around, behind every corner trying to get something on God’s children. He hates you to pray and spend time with God because through His Holy Spirit will tell you what satan is up too! He really is a loser when we’re wearing our spiritual armor and we are equipped for battle.
Satan is the prince of the power of the air and everyone, even Christians hear thoughts from him. It is up to each person as to whether or not we buy into his lies of temptation, failure, adultery, etc. We’ll not quit hearing from him until Jesus binds him in the pit so it’s no disgrace to have a thought from the devil, it’s what you do with it. But the truth of the matter is, most people are not aware of what’s going on in the spirit world and are therefore quite helpless against satan. This is how he attempts to bring a person to destruction...through the mind. He knows if you can get a man’s mind, you can get the man.
Many people don’t realize they have a mission from God just to work on one soul. They think they must go on a mission trip to Africa. God loves each person so much that He will do anything to save them. You may very well be your partner’s salvation and that is a mighty work to be done. I Corinthians 7:16 says “How do you know but what you may be your husband’s salvation?” I urge you to use the keys of binding and loosing that Jesus died on the cross to give to you.
When learning how to use my spiritual weapons I would also dream of the day I would hear what it was I wanted to hear. And yes, it did come true in much more deeper ways than I could ever imagine. When God gives you something He gives it to you big time!