Do You Really Want to Know What Someone's Words Do For You?

You never know exactly what people think of you. For the most part we don't realize just how much good they may see in us and how well they may think of us. We simply tend to think they think mediocre thoughts of us and that isn't very powerful. We find it so encouraging to hear what someone has to say about us if it is good. Now of course they may not have good things to say so that is either on us or on them.  My journalism teacher in college shared with us that we really needed to learn to become people who could take criticism because it could help us to become better. We should not always see it as an attack but to see in ways to help us understand what others see, think and believe which may help us to be better at what we are attempting. It is what they call "Constructive Criticism." But I do believe that we are our worst critic and we tend by human nature to put ourselves down before we build ourselves us. 

Once upon a time I was cleaning my young son's room and I came across a piece he wrote about inspiration. It was about me and how I always strive to take care of myself and my family. He wrote about how I ate healthy and worked out and took care to look nice. It really encouraged me and I never ever forgot that. He didn't realize how that small act of having to write a one page paper in school would continue to encourage me to press on in my life habits forever. 

This year has been one of the toughest years of my life. I have hated it and yet, while I can't say I have loved any of it, there are parts of it that I have really learned from as I have went through a lot of feelings and experiences. I have always been honest but I am not one to go airing my laundry for the world to see. So what if I  did just cry out to the world and air on social media all that ales me they may think I am just a crazy person and judge me by that. Even if, they do the same type of things themselves they will most likely pass some sort of judgement on me. Judgement isn't what we need to get through the hard times. But some people actually are crying for help while others are attention seekers for whatever reason, they simply may not know how to reach out hoping someone will reach back in.  But my heart is here for you to say I get it and because if you can admit it even to yourself you are on your way to being better and stronger by allowing yourself to grieve. It's a process.  I will be the guinea pig in this way and share hoping it helps others to simply be honest about the journey we are on in life. In this season of grief I am learning a whole new meaning to seasons of life. Allow yourself to go through the seasons but most important don't forget to move through them, don't stay stuck there and know that some movement is better than no movement. It shows there is still life in the living. Even if you don't feel like it, you were meant to keep moving forward. 

Yes, I too have my days I cry and days I am sad and days I am mad at the world. But the one thing I can count on is that I always have hope. In my lifetime I have always known that God's Hand is upon me and I have felt it. He tells me that although He knows how I feel, He still wants me to talk to Him about it. That is what it means to have a relationship with God.  So I do talk to Him, even if I am yelling to the top of my lungs or screaming at 4:30 AM about how my heart hurts from sadness and frustration. Even if, I am so angry with someone that I have to go turn on the shower and cry and say all the ugly words I want to say to them instead I just say it to God. He listens. He understands and I can be so real with Him and He still forgives me. My Father God still loves me. I am His child. He gets me. And, He is the only one Who can really change anything. I know all of this because my mother believed in God before I was ever born and even though most of the time it was a struggle to get herself and her children to church she wanted us to know and have a relationship with God. She knew it was the most important relationship we would ever need.  And she knew the rest of life's coping skills would follow.

I have a busy family. I needed a place to go to for quiet and creative time. I moved my clothes around and created my prayer closet. I go there even when I have the house to myself. Even when I could be anywhere in my house and working at a table, here I sit in my closet working. Here I sit in my closet typing to you. It's my God place. As I am getting through this year in attempting to be the things God has called me to be as I struggle and study and pray and I discover in life I can't help but feel like I am failing miserably, here I sit seeking. But I want to be better, I want to be more. And then I came across a comment I was tagged in on Instagram where my adult daughter wrote that I was amazing.  She went on to say "She doesn't give up. She's lost so much this past year; her job, her Dad, watched her kids walk through extremely hard times yet she keeps pushing through, seeking hope. She is a prayer warrior, encourager and friend." So here I am once again encouraged by a comment that was written by another child of mine that will help motivate me to keep on until I get it right. Let us build one another up, not tear one another down. The power of our words will save the world.

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